Meeting One Another

MEETING ONE ANOTHER

5 STAGES OF GROUP FORMATION

& DEVELOPMENT

For those of you who attended our first Business Chicks meeting of 2011 last night, I hope your experience was a good one.  Coming together or meeting new people in a group setting can sometimes be an overwhelming, nerve-wracking, or exciting time, depending upon how well you already know the other members of the group, your reason (s) for attending, your level of comfort in a group setting and/or your personality type, or all of the above combined.

At last night’s meeting I shared briefly with those of you in attendance, the 5 stages of group development and the 3 key things that all groups need in order to be a healthy, welcoming environment where all group members can flourish and be nurtured.

Evelyn and I want to facilitate a nurturing, supportive environment for each of you “Chicks” out, to enable each one of you to flourish in your business and also as individuals within the larger group.

Whenever two or more people come together, we have a group.  Each of our individual and unique groups represents “Me” “Myself” & “I”.  ME is the core of who I am (the inside part of MYSELF you only see as I allow you into my space and heart).  How do I and each of your individual groups function together as a healthy unit?

THE 5 STAGES OF GROUP DEVELOPMENT

1.      Adjourning

2.      Forming

3.      Storming

4.      Norming

5.      Performing

Let’s look at Adjourning.  This stage of the group development process happens when groups are coming to an end or changing in dynamic.  Feelings associated with this stage are:

·         Grief, which might  include sadness, depression, bargaining, denial, anger, and ultimately acceptance

·         Emptiness, isolation

·         Anger (the feelings attached to this emotion are fear, pain or hurt and powerlessness)

·         Disappointment

·         Lack of direction/purpose/immobilized

·         Relief (especially if the group process has been difficult or unhealthy)

·         Exhaustion, frustration  weepiness

These are just a few.  This stage is often experienced in other situations (i.e.” empty nesters”, family units, life transitions, relationships ending).  It is often helpful for groups that are winding down, changing or transitioning to address this stage via debriefing or wrap up sessions.

Forming - “The Honeymoon Stage”.   This stage of group development is much like a new romance in its early phase.  Differences are overlooked.  Everyone is on their best behaviour.  Feelings and thoughts associated with this stage are:

·         Excitement/bonding

·         Uncertainty and curiosity

·         Anxiety and anticipation

·         Nervousness and hopefulness

·         Scepticism and caution

·         Fearfulness and hopefulness about new possibilities/connections

·         “This is great!” “Everyone is so nice!”  “This is going to be great!”

These forming feelings are also common in newcomers or tourists visiting a new country for the first time, new parents, honeymooners, teenagers leaving home to begin their own journey.

Storming – Differences begin to surface.  Every group will experience this stage in varying degrees.  Much is dependent upon the personalities that make up the group and the agenda of each group member.

It is very important at this point, that the group have a process in place to give and receive feedback in healthy ways.  If group members just try to side step difficult issues, or fall prey to “passive aggressive” behaviours, the groups involved simply bounce between Forming and Storming. Ultimately group dynamic is broken or destroyed and the group disbands or divorces. Without intervention in this stage individuals (or the group) literally have feelings of turbulence, as if they are caught up in some inner storm that is about to implode.

Feelings associated with this stage are:

·         Angry (fearful, hurt, powerless)

·         Frustrated

·         Misunderstood

·         Lack of trust

·         Avoidance behaviours

·         Jealousy/assumptions

·         Closed/distant

·         Shock/fury/withdrawal

·         Combative/argumentative

Norming –All groups seek to get to the Norming stage but try to avoid the Storming stage when or if it rears its ugly head. A healthy way to manage this stage is to have a guided “beefs and bouquets” time on a regular basis.

Feelings and thoughts associated with this stage are:

·         Comfortable/accepting/relaxed

·         Secure

·         Freedom

·         Empowered

·         Satisfied

·         Hopeful

·         “I know what to expect and how this group functions”

·         “I enjoy being with these people”

·         “I feel heard and validated

As a Life Management Coach, one of my goals for my clients is to teach them the strategies for giving and receiving feedback in nourishing v. punishing, passive aggressive ways, so that they can enjoy being in relationship with other members of their group (s).

3 Key Things All Groups Need

1.       Genuine care and concern – Everyone in the group needs to know they are important and cared for by the other group members

2.      **Inclusion – all members are included in group process.  New members are brought up to speed quickly, so they also feel part of the existing group.  Each member makes a valuable contribution to the group

3.      Shared Management – Responsibility and ownership of the group rests with all group members

In the Norming Stage, groups that are healthy are beginning to thrive and move towards the final stage of group development which is:

Performing – Group members know and take ownership of the guidelines and expectations within the group.  (This might also be addressed by a clear mission and purpose statement). Some key feelings associated with this stage are:

·         In this stage the group has established some Group Guidelines that each member of the group agrees to live by as a member of the group.  New members also need to be brought into the group and introduced to the Group Guidelines, so that the group continues to run like a well oiled machine (might still require regular check-ups, maintenance to achieve peak performance).

These regular checkups might be things like:

·         Regular educational component or sharing of expertise from within the group memberships

·         Guest Speakers

·         Reminder of Group Guidelines

In February, we will look at “Understanding Your Personality Type” and how it works in a group setting.  Hope you can join us.  What is introversion and extroversion?  Come find out!!